What to Say When You Find Out a Colleague Earns More Than You
Finding out a peer earns more than you is one of those pieces of information that lands with a particular sting. The instinct is to do something immediately. Taking a breath before any of those is usually the right move.
Separate the Emotional Reaction From the Practical Response
The feeling of being underpaid is real and worth taking seriously. But acting on it while you’re still in the sting of the discovery tends to produce worse outcomes than acting on it once you’ve thought it through. Give yourself a day.
Don’t Involve the Colleague
The path forward runs through your manager — not through your colleague. Making your colleague feel bad for what they earn doesn’t help you. The pay difference isn’t their fault.
The Conversation With Your Manager
“I’ve been doing some research on market rates for my role and experience level, and I think there may be a gap worth discussing. I’d like to talk about my compensation and what a path to [target number] would look like.”
No mention of the colleague. You’re making a case for yourself, not arguing against a perceived injustice.
If They Won’t Move
A manager who acknowledges a clear pay gap and won’t address it is giving you important information. Sometimes the ceiling in this role is lower than you need it to be.